Erika Kirk recounts Usha Vance’s advice after husband’s death: ‘Her words are seared into my heart’

Erika Kirk, the wife of the late conservative activist Charlie Kirk, in a new New York Times opinion piece published Monday discussed the words she recounted receiving from second lady Usha Vance after her husband’s death .

In her essay , Erika Kirk says that the day after her husband was fatally shot, she had a conversation with Vance.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” Kirk says of her conversation with Vance, to which the second lady replied, “You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again?”

“That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes,” Vance told Kirk, according to her Times piece.

Kirk wrote that Vance’s “words are seared into my heart.”

“Grief is strange. Time continues even when every part of you wants it to pause or, better yet, rewind. But the people we love who have passed on would not want us to spend the rest of our lives trying to rewind. At first, I needed to survive the next 15 minutes. Over time, I’ve realized that Charlie would want me to live them,” she added.

Charlie Kirk was fatally shot on Sept. 10, 2025, while giving a speech at Utah Valley University.

During a memorial service honoring her husband in late September last year, Erika Kirk broke down at one point as she said she forgave the suspect who allegedly shot and killed him. Kirk spoke at length about her husband’s mission and the centrality of religion in her family during the event.

“I love you Charlie, baby. And I will make you proud,” Kirk said when ending her speech, to which the audience responded with strong applause.

Last month, Turning Point USA announced that Charlie Kirk will be honored at an event Thursday on the Utah Valley University campus, near where he was shot.