Eric Dane detailed his ups and downs as Dr. Mark Sloan on “Grey’s Anatomy” in posthumous memoir

Eric Dane's posthumous memoir includes his experience on Grey's Anatomy.

The actor, who joined the show as Dr. Mark Sloan during season 2, went through a lot of personal ups and downs at the time.

Eric Dane 's posthumous memoir is a collection of life lessons for his daughters, including what he learned while playing Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy .

"Every moment I spend playing Dr. Mark Sloan, acting with the Grey's cast and interacting with the actors and crew off camera, is a complete joy," Dane wrote in My Book of Days: A Memoir in Moments , out now. While filming his first episode, "Yesterday," which aired in Feb. 2006, Dane felt "more fulfilled" than ever as he slipped into Dr. Sloan's scrubs.

Dane starred as the plastic surgeon, nicknamed "McSteamy," until his character's death in season 9. The actor returned to the show in 2021 for a special guest appearance during the show's 17th season.

Dane's final episode of Grey's came nearly three years before his amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) diagnosis. The actor went public with his diagnosis in April 2025, less than a year before he died at age 53 on Feb. 19. (He's survived by daughters Billie, 16, and Georgia, 14.)

After shooting "Yesterday" as a guest star, Dane totally forgot about his work on Grey's. That is, until he got a call from a friend stating that he "hijacked the f---ing show." The reaction to his character was something "no one" had ever seen before (in the days before social media, no less), so Dane got a series regular offer.

Scroll through to read Dane's biggest Grey's takeaways from his posthumous memoir:

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Dane wrote that he had "rocked" an audition for Dr. Derek Shepherd, the role that ultimately went to Patrick Dempsey. So when the opportunity to play Dr. Mark Sloan came across his desk, the actor was quick to turn it down.

"I could play the s--- out of this part. But I'm not going to. I pass," he wrote, concerned that Dr. Sloan would only be there for one episode. "Even though I tested for the lead, and almost got the part, I now have to audition for a guest shot? Call it ego, call it pride, call it stupid. I won't stoop to that."

Dane's wife at the time, Rebecca Gayheart . convinced him to take the audition. He recalled Grey's creator Shonda Rhimes being in the room. "Her presence makes me relax. I feel comfortable, as if I belong here," Dane wrote. The Burlesque star said he felt "a vibe throughout the room" as he read for the part.

"When I finish, I know, I just know. I nailed it. Shonda smiles," he continued. "The rest of the people in the room hold a beat, then they follow her smile, everyone now smiling and nodding, falling just short of gushing, and after our round of goodbyes, I leave, feeling high, feeling sure. I got the part."

After Dane officially joined the Grey's Anatomy , he realized it was a "dream job." The actor praised all of his costars — including Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo — calling them "princes and princesses" in the book.

"I fit right in, quickly assuming a lead role in our off-camera shenanigans. We're playing doctors saving lives, serious stuff. But once the director calls 'Cut,' I try to keep it light," he wrote. "We are not literally brain surgeons. We're actors, theater nerds. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, and I do, is to crack each other up."

Dr. Sloan makes his introduction to Grey's shirtless and wrapped in a towel — a pattern for Dane as he wrote "the scripts always call for me to go topless." Initially, Dane saw himself as "unremarkable, bordering on scrawny" when he got the gig. So, he got himself "in the best shape of my life."

Things changed, however, amid his tenure on the show. Dane hurt his neck working out and was prescribed painkillers. "My body goes to s---. I drop to 170, my face caves in, my eyes cloud, Iook gaunt; s---, I look like a drug addict. You can tell. I can tell," he wrote. "My attitude on set changes. I'm no longer bubbly, the fun guy, a ringleader in laughs. I don't act out. I don't throw tantrums or chairs. I go the other way. I bring everything inside. I dissolve."

Rhimes offered to help, and Dane turned her down.

Dane felt like he was "suffering" and didn't talk to anyone about it. "I can't help it. I feel other members of the cast looking at me. They're my friends. My work family. No. My family ," he wrote. "They don't judge me. They don't look angry. They look concerned. They look sad."

"I tell her I'm dealing with it. I lie to her. I lie to myself. I suck it up. Fight through it," the actor shared. "I don't want to be Shonda's burden. I don't want to be a problem. But I am. I am a problem."

During the course of Grey's Anatomy , Dane went to rehab five times. The actor wrote that he "improved" over time. His addiction was "managed," but noted that "things have changed" on set — and he "had enough" of being Dr. Sloan.

"Mentally, I'm on my way out," Dane wrote. "I love Mark Sloan, but I need to quit him."

Dane wrote that his addiction struggles were not what got him written of Grey's. It "comes down to money," he explained. "Despite Mark Sloan's popularity, I have become too expensive. I have become expendable."

The Last Ship star was "stone cold sober" when he ended his time on Grey's . "I go out strong," he added. "I make sure of that."

My Book of Days: A Memoir in Moments is out now.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

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