Verlander's curtain call: What he's feeling and what it'll look like

DETROIT — Justin Verlander 's anxiety level was already climbing.

"High," he said. "It's weird. It's almost like a playoff anxiety."

The anxiety was hitting him on two levels. First, he was nervous about the ceremony that was planned to honor his career before the game Friday, Sept. 25. Nervous because he was being asked to give a speech.

But more than that, he was dealing with some early performance anxiety ahead of making the final start of his illustrious career on Saturday, Sept. 26.

"You always have anxiousness and nerves before you pitch," he said. "But in the playoffs, it's a different level. I haven't really known what to expect this whole time coming into this weekend. Yesterday and today, particularly today, I started really noticing like I'm really on edge right now. I have a lot of angst in a good way.

"I enjoy it, but I was like, 'Oh wow, this is more than maybe I anticipated.'"

Understandable. He hasn't pitched competitively since March 30. He's spent the last six months rehabbing from hip and hamstring injuries. Nobody knows what this might look like or how long it will last.

"I don't want to doubt him or put limits on him," manager AJ Hinch said. "We are going to give him as long a rope as he can handle, physically. As his injuries were mounting during the season, I thought this might be more of a cameo appearance. But the more I've talked to him, that's the exact opposite of what he wants. He wants it to be competitive.

"So, I don't know. It's hard to ask him to throw a normal set of pitches. But he's been doubted before and if he thinks he can handle it physically, I'm going to keep sending him out there and hope the right moment emerges. What inning is anybody's guess."

Hinch told Verlander that one thing was nonnegotiable.

"I told him, I'm coming to the mound and I'm coming to get you," Hinch said. "For old time's sake, if you want to scowl or yell at me or whatever, fine. His reaction was, 'You come out too early and we'll have our moment.' But he's not going to finish his outing. We are going to give him a sendoff that he is going to remember."

Pirates manager Don Kelly , one of Verlander's teammates in Detroit, joked that he was going to activate himself to get a couple of at-bats against Verlander.

"Hopefully he does," Hinch cracked. "We could use a couple of outs. But Donnie is not going to tell his guys to take."

Verlander wouldn't want it any other way. He's worked too hard, against all odds, really, for six months, to make this one moment happen. He wants it to be authentic.

"I'm sure you guys know I skipped a bunch of steps to be able to make the start," he said. "I mean, if we weren't home this last week, I don't know if I could have made it. It was that tight. Nobody really knows what to expect tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. AJ doesn't. It's kind of this gray area.

"But I've pushed as hard as I possibly can to be able to make this happen for me, for the fans, for Detroit."

One thing is for sure, he will leave the mound Saturday with no regrets.

"I feel like I ran my race," he said. "I've given everything I have. And plus, there are so many signs. I said I would pitch until the wheels fell off. Well, the wheel fell off. My kids at home. Like I see my daughter who's seven now, and how fast that goes, and how much of that time frame I've missed already.

"I have a 1-year-old son now, I know that I'm going to be able to be there for him and experience more of that childhood that I that I missed, unfortunately, with my daughter."

He thought for a second about regrets. He's won three Cy Young Awards, won an MVP award and two World Series rings. He's thrown three no-hitters. In terms of accolades and achievements, he's done it all.

"I think it's all how you look at it, right?" he said. "Like I could be sad that I didn't make the 300 wins. That was a goal. Damn, right? Listen, I'm not going to go home and lay my head on my pillow tomorrow night, no matter how the game goes, and be like I left something out there."

In the old days, Verlander would walk into the clubhouse Saturday, headphones on and in full snarl. There will be no headphones and certainly no snarl. He walked through the clubhouse Friday with a big smile and said, "Welcome to Justin Verlander day."

He credited the birth of his daughter Genevieve for that transformation.

"Once my daughter was born and I went away for COVID and had Tommy John surgery and got to spend so much time with her and the family, it just really changed me to the core," he said. "To the point that when I came back in 2022 and tried to go back into my old routine, it felt fake to me. So I started changing things. I would just use the love that she would give me.

"Honestly, I would leave for the park and there was this little girl and it didn't matter what I was going to do. It was just adoration and this bond that we had been creating. I'm not going to put my headphones on and be angry after that. I can't. It's impossible. So I just would use that energy, and it turned into one of the best seasons of my career."

There's a quote that Verlander has taken to heart.

"What's the point of living life if you don't let life change you?"

So it's on to the next life change for Justin Verlander. But first, there's Ver-fest at Comerica Park.

"I'm excited to see the atmosphere," he said. "I'm thankful for so many reasons. I didn't know if I was going to be able to make this happen physically, so to be able to do it makes me really thankful. And to have the city be so excited and abuzz about it makes me anticipate a good atmosphere, which I would love.

"I'm going to try to take in a little bit more and be a little more present than I than I normally am. Just try to have fun and get some guys out."

First pitch: 1:10 p.m. Saturday, Comerica Park, Detroit

TBD, Pirates: The Pirates have not announced their pitching plan.

RHP Justin Verlander (0-1, 12.27), Tigers: One more time, one last time. This will Verlander's 193rd regular-season start at Comerica Park, by far the most in any ballpark by any active pitcher. Aaron Nola is a distant second with 156 starts at Citizens Bank Park. And it's been a mere nine years and 37 days since Verlander last toed the rubber at Comerica wearing the Old English D (Aug. 20, 2017). It's also been 180 days since his last big-league start, which was March 30.