I warned my son about sextortion. Then scammers targeted his 12-year-old friend.

Melissa Urban may be best known as the cofounder of Whole30 , a popular elimination diet in which you cut out added sugar, dairy, grains, alcohol and more for 30 days, then gradually reintroduce them to see how they impact your health. But her 369,000 followers know that Urban shares more than just healthy eating tips and fitness routines. She's outspoken about supporting women, setting boundaries and protecting your mental health.

These days, however, she's speaking out about a topic that hits close to home: sextortion — specifically, financial sextortion , in which predators, typically pretending to be young girls, message young boys on social media and gaming platforms, convince them to send sexually explicit photos, and then demand money not to publicly release them.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children calls sextortion a "growing threat." In 2025, NCMEC received more than 50,000 reports of financially motivated sextortion — an average of 137 per day and a sharp increase from the more than 36,000 reports in 2024. The threat of exposure, which may leave kids feeling isolated and trapped, can have serious consequences . The FBI is aware of more than 20 deaths by suicide resulting from financially motivated sextortion.

Predators often target teens ages 14 to 17 . But with multiple platforms allowing messaging and cash apps to be so easily accessible, even younger boys are being impacted by this crime. That was the case for Urban's son's close friend, who recently became the victim of financial sextortion at just 12 years old.

Urban posted a series of videos on her Instagram last week explaining the harrowing situation involving her son's friend. She helped the family navigate the ordeal and is passionate about raising awareness among parents, especially those who think it couldn't happen to their child. The friend's mom, who wishes to remain anonymous, gave Urban permission to share her son's story here in a conversation with Yahoo's Rachel Grumman Bender.

When my son was around 11 years old, I talked to him about how people can pretend to be someone they're not online, whether it's on Roblox or social media. I told him that some grown-ups do this so they can harm kids. He kept saying to me, "Why would adults do that? Why would they pretend to be kids? It doesn't make any sense." And it's hard to explain to an 11-year-old about predators and grooming.

Then I saw an ESPN article about a young man named Jordan DeMay . He was in his room late at night. He got a DM from a girl [it was actually an extortionist in Nigeria]. They went back and forth. He sent her a [nude] photo. And then "she" began to extort him. Before his parents woke up in the morning, he had sadly died by suicide. And so, reading that and then diving a bit more into it, I realized that this was quite an epidemic, specifically with boys — and athletic ones in particular. [Boys who play sports tend to have a larger online presence, making them easier to find. They're also perceived as having more to lose since a scandal could impact their reputation and recruitment prospects.]

My son really struggled to believe that people did that. But I showed him this article and explained what had happened. We talked about sextortion, what it looks like and the red flags to look out for.

The biggest part of the conversation that I wanted him to understand was this: If anything like this ever happens to you — if you (or a friend) are talking to someone online or you get a message that's weird — end the conversation as soon as possible and come to me . You won't be in trouble. You won't have done anything wrong. I'm not going to be mad at you. You're not going to be punished. As a child, you are not prepared to navigate this. But I will know how to handle this in a way that you won't.

'Hey, this is happening, and I don't know what to do'

Over the summer, my son called me from his friend's house and said, "Mom, my friend just had one of those situations happen on social media." The friend was friended by someone on the app BeReal. She looked like a teenage girl. The extortionists [behind the fake profile] had gone to the trouble of friending this kid's friends on this social media network. So it seemed as though she was a known entity, that she was a safer person to talk to.

The conversation started with, "What are you doing?" "Not much. How about you?" She sent photos of herself, like a selfie, hanging out in bed. And then it escalated to, "Can we send sneaky pictures? Can you send me a picture in your underwear?" His friend kept saying no. He didn't end the conversation, but kept saying no. And finally, this "girl" persuaded him to send a selfie. And he did. He sent a selfie in the mirror, fully clothed in a T-shirt and jeans.

The extortionist took his selfie and used AI or Photoshop to put his face on a naked body. Then they threatened to send it to friends, family and coaches unless he paid them a few hundred dollars. The friend showed my son the interaction and said, "Hey, this is happening, and I don't know what to do."

He was freaked out. So, I got on the phone with him. I asked him to send me screenshots of the messages. Then I explained that this was sextortion and it was illegal. I asked him to preserve the screenshots because on some platforms, when you block someone, the conversation history disappears. I told him to end the conversation immediately and tell his mom. I said, "Your mom and I can definitely keep you safe here."

His mom handled it. She told her son, "You're not in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong. This is a grown-up trying to manipulate a child." They kept the screenshots. They blocked the person. They reported it to the police. The police were able to track down that [the extortionist] originated in Nigeria, so there was very little that they could do. But thankfully, the extortionist never sent out any photos.

I'm not glad we had this as a learning opportunity, but I'm glad it turned out the way it did — because it could have gone so horribly wrong.

Extortionists like these truly behave like a 13-year-old. One of the text messages sent to my son's friend was like, "just hanging out at home, HBU." I don't know a single adult who would text, "how about you" as "HBU," but a kid would. So again, that adult has really infiltrated the language and syntax of teenagers — they really work hard at this. This is often a full-time job.

The extortionist also bombards these kids with message after message after message to add to that sense of fear and urgency [making them more likely to pay them money to make them go away].

While the extortionist could have taken a selfie off a public social media feed, I think the reason they want the child to send the photo themselves is because it's easier to make the child feel culpable. "You sent this to me. You engaged in this interaction. It's your fault that this is happening."

If it's ripped off a school page or social media page, the kid might think, "Well, I had nothing to do with it. My photo was stolen." But in this case, he participates in the exchange. And I think that adds to that sense of guilt and shame for the child.

I thought to myself, But why are they asking children for money? A 12-year-old doesn't have a credit card or a bank account . But what I've read from the FBI and NCMEC is that these kids will often clear out their savings or steal from their parents in order to make this payment, which only furthers that shame and guilt cycle. A lot of my kid's friends have cash apps like Venmo or Zelle or some way for parents to move money back and forth, as well as debit cards for kids like Greenlight.

You tell kids not to talk to strangers on the internet, but social media was literally built for strangers to talk to each other. So that advice is kind of outdated at this point. Parents really have to talk about some of the nuances of internet safety.

I think a lot of parents just aren't aware of the very real risk sextortion poses. It's happening to kids at school. It's happening to your friends' children and kids on sports teams. And it's not just social media, by the way. This is happening on gaming apps like Roblox or Call of Duty . It is happening on message boards like Discord. It's happening on chat apps like WhatsApp or Google Chat.

I read a story about a young girl who was groomed via Spotify because the music app now allows you to send messages. One mom wrote to me after I posted about this, saying, "I just realized my daughter's chess app has a message function."

So it can happen anywhere your child can chat with a stranger on the internet — not just on social media. Even if your kid doesn't have a phone, his friends do. Other family members do. You might have a messaging app on your laptop and not realize that your kid is accessing it. So the most important thing is to have this conversation early and keep having it.

I've heard some comments from parents who are like, "My kid would never. I've talked to them about internet safety." And what I say is this: When it's a child up against an adult dead set on manipulating them, the child is going to lose every time. You cannot expect your kid to be savvy enough at 12, 13, 16 or even 18 when this person's full-time job is manipulating children.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

If you or someone you know is the victim of sextortion, contact your local FBI field office , call 1-800-CALL-FBI, report it online at tips.fbi.gov or contact local law enforcement. If sexually explicit images have been shared, visit the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children's Take It Down tool or Is Your Explicit Content Out There? for potential removal.

If you or someone you know is in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.